The Beginning of the End
by konanfan13
Summary: <html><head></head>Ghost! Mattie/Gilbert. Matthieu gets into a crash and Gilbert mourns his loss.</html>
1. Chapter 1

It was raining during his funeral.  
>He had collided with a drunk driver on his way to get a new carton of milk.<br>It was all Gilbert's fault, if only he hadn't drunk the entire old one, he would still have his Matthieu.  
>Rain dripped through his hair and down his face, masking his silent tears as he mourned his loss.<br>So focused on his deceased lover's casket he did not notice his friends come up beside him until Francis placed a hand on his shoulder.  
>"We are so sorry he is gone... We will all miss him dearly." He said quietly tightening his grip on Gilbert's shoulder.<br>"Don't cry Gilberto, Mattie would not like it." Antonio said patting his back comfortingly, wide green eyes sympathetic.  
>Gilbert wiped away the tears staining his wet face to no avail because they came back as quickly as he had wiped them away. "What else am I supposed to do? He's...gone." He coughed, choking back a sob that threatened to send him to his knees sending him falling into the grave with his beloved. "I can't believe he's gone."<br>Francis and Antonio gave him a hard hug trying to ease some of Gilbert's pain but it just made him cry harder gripping onto his friends for support from his heavy heart and weak knees.

Gilbert washed his face in the sink staring at his reflection in the mirror. He looked like he had aged quite a bit from the bags under his eyes and his wrinkled brow. He sighed walking out of the room deciding to go to bed even though it was early.

He crawled under his comforter looking over at the empty spot where Matthieu would have been laying if it wasn't for... Gilbert looked up at the picture of Matthieu he kept on his night stand of his late lover pulling it off the stand and pulling it to his chest. "Mattie..." he whispered holding the frame tightly.  
>Gilbert drifted off into a dream where he saw the crash playing out in his head. Over and over and over, it haunted him; playing like a broken record.<br>But the dream faded into memories of him and Matthieu playing in the sand on the beach just a week prior to the accident.  
>"Come on, Gil!" he called with a wave of his arm as he ran towards the surf, Gilbert chasing after him playfully. Gilbert laughed tackling Matthieu once they reached waste deep water and when they surfaced they shared a salty love filled kiss that had sent Gilbert's heart reeling. He would never be able to feel those soft lips anymore...<p>

Gilbert woke with a gasp tears streaming down his face again as he sat up wiping them away. He rubbed his bleary eyes scanning the room looking for his clock.  
>"3:00 am..." Gilbert sighed leaning back against his headboard eyes searching for Matthieu's picture though it was nowhere to be found. Panicking he switched on his light tossing back the sheets in search for his Matthieu. He checked under the bed, under his pillows, on the floor but came up with nothing he slowly sank back down on the bed.<br>He had the real thing taken from him...Couldn't he have at least had the mercy to be able to have a fake version?  
>"Looking for this?" asked a timid voice from behind him. Gilbert recognized the voice but ignored it thinking it was his own imagination... It couldn't be... Could it?<br>He slowly turned eyes growing wide as he found he had been right... Matthieu.  
>"Mattie...?" Gilbert stood staring amazed at what was before him. "Is this a-... Are you...?"<br>"No Gilbert." He said stepping closer picture frame in hand. "I'm not alive anymore... I haven't been accepted yet so I get to wander for a few days. I missed you, Gil." Matthieu felt tears springing to his eyes as he came face to face with the man he had loved when he was alive.  
>"It's you..." Gilbert said softly reaching out and touching Matthieu's face lightly feeling his skin but it was different. Cold and lifeless. Like his eyes. "It's really you!" Gilbert grabbed hold of Matthieu pulling him into a tight hug heaving a sob into his shoulder. "Mattie! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry... If I hadn't...You would have never... Mattie..." he cried.<br>"Shh..." Matthieu crooned hugging Gilbert back. "Don't cry. It's not your fault. It was that drunk man's negligence that had killed me. Please don't blame yourself."  
>"But it is my fault! I should have never let you go... It could have waited until some other time."<br>"It's okay." Matthieu said. "I'm fine with being dead. I didn't want to be but I've accepted it. And you should too. Someday...we'll meet each other again and we can live together."  
>"Why can't I just follow you now?" Gilbert asked pulling him tighter against his chest.<br>"You can't!" Matthieu cried pulling away looking Gilbert in his eyes. "If you kill yourself you'll never make it where I'm meant to be! You'll be stuck in limbo for the rest of your life! We'll never be able to see each other again. Gilbert, you must promise me that you'll never EVER do that to yourself... To me."  
>Gilbert nodded. "I promise... I just miss you so much Mattie. I never expected this to happen. I never got to say goodbye."<br>Matthieu smiled at him adoringly." Well, you'll have your chance now."  
>"Do I have to?"<br>"No, not yet... I still have time. A few days a max, I'll tell you when it's my time."  
>"I don't want to let you go again..." Gilbert said quietly. "It's was hard enough the first time."<br>"I'm not going anywhere right now. Let's go back to bed and I'll see you tomorrow and the next day. Till I have to go. I love you, Gil."  
>"I love you too, Birdie." He said softly smiling for the first time today.<br>"Let's go back to bed. I'll see you in the morning." Matthieu reassured him leading him back to the bed laying down on his side and Gilbert felt as if everything was right again. He had Matthieu to comfort him as he slept, as he snuggled under the covers, Gilbert joined him pulling Matthieu into his chest not wanting to ever let go again.  
>"Are you sure you'll be here in the morning?" Gilbert asked.<br>Matthieu sighed. "No, I'm not. But if I'm not then I'll be back tonight. I promise."  
>Gilbert held onto Matthieu tighter trying to prolong the time they had together but sleep was slowly pulling at him.<br>"Good night, Gil." Matthieu sighed pressing his lips lightly to Gilbert's chest.  
>"Night, Mattie."<p>

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

So I'm posting this ask kind of a beginning of the end type of deal.

I hope you guys have enjoyed the first chapter.

Review me?


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for such the long wait. But I'm lazy ha…

Well, anyway.

Gilbert woke to the screeching of his alarm clock. He groaned, rolling over and punching the thing till it shut up. He opened his eyes sighing as he thought about Mattie-  
>"Mattie!" He sat up looking down at the now empty bed and his heart sank before noticing the note that was left behind on his pillow.<p>

_Gilbert, _  
><em>Sorry, but I can't seem to manifest my body for such a long period of time and I don't seem to sleep anyway but I'm sorry that I had to leave you. I'll be back at 3 in the morning again... I can't wait to see you. I love you.<em>  
><em>Love,<em>  
><em>-Birdie. <em>

Gilbert smiled at the thought of Matthieu taking his time to write the simple note, brow furrowing as he tried to pick the right words to say.  
>He swung his legs out of bed looking at the time. 11:00... 16 hours till Matthieu showed up...What can Gilbert do in 16 hours?<p>

Gilbert felt a sadness welling up in his heart. What was he supposed to do when Matthieu is completely gone? Everything he used to do practically revolved around his lover. On a normal day he'd go to work thinking about him then come home to a comfortable home with Matthieu cooking him dinner and a warm kiss waiting for him once he walked through the door.  
>Gilbert felt tears welling up in his eyes at the thought of not being able to feel the warm touch of his lovers lips or the comforting press of his body when they slept together or the taste of Matthieu's' pancakes in the morning when he woke up to the sweet syrupy scent.<br>He laughed tears spilling over the edge remembering all the good times they had spent together in this home.  
>'Are you crying again, Gilbert? I'm not gone yet. I want to see you smile.' Said a distant voice.<br>"Mattie?" He asked looking around the room wiping away his tears.  
>'Yeah, who else? Sorry, but I'm not there with you. I'm saving up energy in limbo. But I can send you messages for now.'<br>"That's great!" Gilbert laughed. "I'm glad I can still talk to you. There's so much I haven't said to you."  
>'Gilbert... There's something I need to tell you...It's really important.' Gilbert could hear the sadness in Matthieu's voice.<br>"W-What is it, Birdie?" He asked nervously, wondering if he really wanted the answer. "Is something wrong?"  
>'Yeah... It seems...I'm going to pass on sooner than we thought.'<br>"What do you mean?" Gilbert's voice shook as he covered his mouth with his hand shakily. "You're leaving me?... when?"  
>'Tonight... I'll still be able to see you when I promised but...I won't be able to stay for long.'<br>"What do you mean 'not for long'?"  
>"I may only be able to stay for an hour or so. The gates only open for so long."<br>Gilbert remained quiet for a moment biting his lip in thought. "Okay," he said finally. "I won't try to stop you from leaving. If I can manage it, anyway. Don't let me get in your way, Mattie."  
>"Thank you, Gil." Gilbert could hear the smile in his voice. "I love you."<br>"Love you, Mattie." He said the words cheerfully but to him it seemed almost robotic and he was grieving inside.

A few hours later Gilbert had decided to run a few errands to keep himself busy until it was time to actually see Matthieu, and to restock his increasingly low food supply.  
>He walked into the cool-air conditioning of the local grocery store grabbing a cart, wheeling it to the juice section.<br>"Gilbert?" Questioned a voice behind him. Gilbert turned, looking into the familiar blue eyes that belonged to Matthieu's brother. "What are you doing here?"  
>Gilbert shrugged. "Hungry..." he mumble.<br>"Don't you have food at home?" Alfred gave him a weary smile trying to make small talk.  
>"Hardly any." Gilbert swallowed the lump in his throat. "We're-...I'm out of milk." he said through gritted teeth and tears clouded his vision, threatening to spill over.<br>"Oh." Alfred looked down at the ground. "Do you need any help?" The words seemed to be asking for more than just help with his shopping and Gilbert felt himself fill with rage.  
>"No, I don't need your help!" He burst out, glaring at Alfred.<br>'Calm down, Gilbert. He didn't mean anything by it." Matthieu's voice chimed over Gilbert's raging thoughts. He sighed rubbing his hands over his face trying to calm himself. "Sorry."  
>"I know... I miss him too."<br>"I don't want to talk about." He muttered walking away from Alfred.  
>'Yes you do.' Matthieu whispered.<br>"No, not with him. Not with your brother."  
>"I loved him too, you know?" Alfred shouted after him.<br>Gilbert stopped in his tracks, he turned. "I'm sure you did... But I still don't want to talk about it."  
>'Oh, Gil..."<p>

Gilbert plopped down on his bed tucking his hands under his head with a loud sigh.  
>His apartment felt empty without Matthieu there to entertain him. This was usually their date night. Matthieu would pick where they go; even though it was mostly going to the movies, Gilbert didn't mind they normally just kissed in the back not paying attention to the movie. Gilbert smiled to himself, he remembered how Matthieu blushed when he began to initiate the make out session and he'd complain quietly how he'd want to watch the movie but Gilbert always knew how to make him give in and he'd subdue to Gilbert's tender kisses.<br>Gilbert bit his lip, chocking on tears. He was really going to miss Matthieu when he was gone.  
>'Gil?' Matthieu's sweet voice broke the silence.<br>"Yeah?" Gilbert's voice sounded shaky to his ears.  
>'I know you're still sad but... You're going to have to get over me. Let me go.'<br>"Let you go? I AM letting you go, Mattie. Tonight. In case you've forgotten. You asked me to, remember?"  
>'You know what I mean, Gilbert. You have to let go of me... From your heart. Live your own life.'<br>"You know I can't do that. I'll never leave for get and leave you behind." His voice was strained; his anger was beginning to show. He wasn't angry at Matthieu, he could never be. He was angry at himself. Matthieu was right, he had to let him go... but he knew in his heart he could never to such a thing. He was afraid he'd forget about him over the years. That he'd fade into a distant memory.  
>'You will someday. And I'll always wait for you.'<br>"Until that day comes, I am not going to talk about it!" He caught himself; he hadn't wanted to yell at him, he really didn't. It just...popped out. "I'm so sorry, Birdie. I- I didn't mean to-"  
>'It's okay.' Matthieu's voice quivered slightly. 'I understand. You need to think about it. I'll come back later. See you.'<br>"No, Mattie! Wait!" Gilbert sat up desperate to keep Matthieu with him.  
>'Later, Gil. I love you.'<br>Gilbert felt empty once again and he realized Matthieu had left his head.  
>He looked at the clock seeing it was only 4:45. Sighing, he laid back on his bed closing his eyes.<p>

Gilbert gasped sitting up in bed eyes scanning the room.  
>"Gilbert." Matthieu sat up next to him and Gilbert gasped clutching his chest.<br>He visibly relaxed when he saw who had invaded his bed. "You scared the crap out of me, Mattie."  
>Matthieu smiled. "Sorry."<br>"What time is it? 3:15! You should've woken me up..." Gilbert looked over Matthieu's ghostly form. His pale eyes seemed duller than before and his body, more transparent.  
>"You seemed to be sleeping well and I didn't want to disturb you."<br>Matthieu's cold hand brushed against Gilbert's cheek affectionately.  
>"I want you to wake me up no matter when it is. I want to see you as much as possible. So, next time-" Gilbert's voice caught in his throat. There won't be a next time... "I mean..."<br>"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. Just lay down with me. Take it easy."

They both lay there tangled in each other's embrace for a while before Gilbert spoke up. "When am I going to see you again?" He asked quietly, touching this forehead to Matthieu's.  
>Matthieu sighed, his icy breath tickled Gilbert's face, "I'm not allowed to say. But we will meet again. I promise. It's almost time for me..."<br>Gilbert held onto him tighter. "Don't go." He whispered.  
>Matthieu buried his face into Gilbert's neck. "I have to go. I don't have a choice, you know that."<br>"How much longer?" Gilbert bit his lip in anticipation as Matthieu tensed letting out a quiet answer. "A few minutes. I'm so sorry, Gilbert."  
>Gilbert shook his head his body trembling. "You don't need to to be sorry. It's not your fault...It isn't. I just... Don't want you to go. I don't want you to go..."<br>"Gilbert, if I could stay with you I would. But I have to go." Matthieu pulled a short distance away from him looking him in the eyes. "I have to go."  
>Gilbert gulped his breath quickening. "R-Right now? Mattie, you can't. You can't!"<br>Matthieu shook his head. "I'm sorry." He leaned in kissing Gilbert gently, feeling hot tears on his pallid skin. "You're crying..." He said quietly pulling away.  
>Gilbert shut his eyes pulling Matthieu close to his chest. "Don't make me lose you again."<br>"You won't. I'm sorry for hurting you like this but you...won't remember anything from yesterday that has to do with me."  
>"What? What are you talking about?"<br>"Listen to me." Matthieu locked eyes with Gilbert. "I don't have much time and I don't want to have this be difficult. Everything you've seen or heard from me will be gone, Gil. Gone."  
>Gilbert's brow scrunched together. "Why? Why can't I remember my last moments with you? It's all I have."<br>Matthieu smiled and shook his head. "No it's not. You have all the years we've spent together, all the times we've spent the night in bed, when you first asked me out and you were so nervous you almost fainted." He laughed to himself quietly. "I love you."  
>"I love you, too." Gilbert whispered clamping his mouth to Matthieu's once again before an empty blackness took over him.<p>

The sunshine shone through the window onto Gilbert's face, rousing him from his sleep. Gilbert rubbed his eyes sitting up and peeking through the curtains, he let out a small sigh. 

Mattie...


End file.
